Psssst--Don't Tell Anyone

In a moment, I’ll disclose something about myself that I’ve never told a soul. Not because it’s shameful or icky or anything—just not important enough to warrant one-on-one human conversation. But that’s the beauty of blogging! NOTHING is too trivial!

So, drum roll please…

The truth is, I have a wee bit of what’s called OCD. Obssessive Compulsive Disorder.

No, I don’t wash my hands a billion times a day, and I don’t have a home full of garbage.

What I do is count. I don’t count things. I just count. One, two, three, four, five…always to either a hundred or a thousand depending on the situation. Now, before you think I’m weird, hear me out.

My counting falls into two categories: time killer and decision maker. For example, I’m sitting at a red light and it’s taking forever to turn green. I say: “Bet it turns green before I can count to a hundred. One, two, three….”

I’m waiting to be called at the doctor’s office. “One, two three…”

I’m waiting for the movie to start. “One, two, three…”

But, most of my counting falls in the decision-making category.

How long to suds my hair when shampooing? “One, two three…”

How long to run the blow dryer? “One, two three…”

Try this: You’re lying in bed on a Saturday morning and nothing urgent awaits you. How do you decide the perfect moment to get up? Count to a hundred and if getting up still doesn’t look appealing, no problem. Just start over and do it again. Do it until you’re so bored with counting, getting up looks preferable.

I don’t wear a watch, so when necessary, I rely on the thousand count instead of the hundred. For example, I’m in a bar waiting for someone who’s late. “If so-and-so doesn’t get here in the next minute, I’m leaving. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi…” and so on to a thousand.

My little game is not without rules: if I count too fast and realize I’ve skipped over numbers, I must start over. And, I can never quit before reaching the end because it would be bad luck.

Don’t get me started on superstitions.