More Fun On The Phone (See Yesterday's Post)

Geez, maybe I should start a blog just for office phone conversations. Today's? Another classic.

Caller: "Accounts Receivable, please."

Me:  "She's not here, but this is Randy. Maybe I can help you." (Sidenote: the only reason I said this was just in case it was a customer with a problem paying us.)

Caller: "Hi, I'm with XYZ Debt Collection Company, and we can gaurantee--"

Me: "Sorry. I'm not really interested, but thank you for the call." Click.

A minute or two passes....

R-r-r-r-ring.

Me:  "Good afternoon, Bemco."

Caller: "Randy, that was really rude. Why--"

Me: "I don't know how much more courteous I could be. I told you I wasn't interested and thanked you for the call." This time, CLICK.  (Okay, it may have been a wee SLAM.)

A Post--Oh, Yes! A Post!

I know it's been...er...awhile since I last posted. Chalk it up to...well, chalk it up to whatever you like. I've been kinda busy. And uninspired.

But the other day, I was looking for something I'd posted--a photo, actually, and I never found it--but anyway, so there I was, perusing MY LIFE over the past several years, and I discovered that hey! I MISS having this little on-line diary keeping track of my comings and goings. My musings.

So I vowed to rev up the old blog again and today, I have the perfect topic. One too lengthy for a fly-by on Facebook or Twitter (which I don't do much of anyway), so here goes...

My office manager Joey is out on maternity leave (and yes, her name is Joey, mine's Randy--perfectly good names for FEMALES). My sister-in-law Polly is filling in, but babysitting duties yank her away on a frequent basis. Hence, I'm answering the dreaded phone.

A LOT.

Well, I guess I hadn't realized (since I don't usually answer the phone), how many calls my late brother gets every day. At least two or three, sometimes four a day.

Mostly I'm polite. "He passed away three years ago," I say rather gently. (You'd be surprised how often the caller just HANGS UP. No "Gee, I'm sorry" or ANYTHING.)

But now I'm starting to get a little irritated, especially when the call has interrupted me in the middle of a complicated thought process (picture spreadsheets!), or the phone is ringing off the hook.

Here, then, are some of my better (?) moments.

Caller: "Barry Bruskrud, please."

Me: "May I ask who's calling?"

Caller: "Mary Smith with XYZ company and I have something I know he'll be
interested in."

Me: "I sincerely doubt that since he's been dead for three years."

* * *

Caller: "May I speak with Barry Bruskrud, please?"

Me: "Only if you have a direct line to heaven."

* * *

Caller: "May I speak with Barry?"

Me: "I'm sorry, he passed away three years ago."

Caller: "Oh, can I speak with his replacement then?"

Me (gulping): "There IS no replacing him."

* * *

Caller: "Barry, please."

Me: "May I ask who's calling?"

Caller: "John Doe. Just tell him I'm on the line, he'll wanna talk to me."

Me: "Oh, I'm sure he would. Can I ask what this is regarding?"

Caller: "He'll know. We talked about it the other day. Just connect me."

Me: "Update your database, Mr. Doe. Barry passed away three years ago." CLICK.