Warren Revland Bruskrud 10-1-22 -- 3-20-10

High Flight

Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings.
Sunward I've climbed and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds, and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hovering there,
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air,
Up, up the long delirious burning blue.
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace
Where never lark or even eagle flew;
And while with silent uplifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand and touched the face of God.

Buh-Bye Aortic Valve, Hello Mooooooooooooo

Two weeks ago tomorrow, can ya believe it?? How time flies! Yes, two weeks ago, they wheeled me through what felt like "backstage on the set of Grey's Anatomy." Only it was real life.

Strangely, I wasn't frightened (okay, maybe there was something already in my IV), but then they didn't give me very much time to get scared. My anesthesiologist (both charming and handsome in his turban) said something like, "ta-ta," and I remember feeling first one wave, then a second, then nothing.

Until I woke up with that damn tube down my throat.

Okay, I'd REALLY tried to prepare for this. I knew not to panic, I knew they wouldn't left me suffocate.

And I knew it'd be in for HOURS.

Luckily, I don't remember the specifics of this period--only that I kept thinking it was so much worse than I'd imagined. So. Much.

What I DO remember is that the nurses would ask if I was in pain, and I'd shake my head no, thinking, ASK THE RIGHT QUESTION.

Now, I'm not sure WHAT the right question was, but eventually, friend Kathleen (who held my hand the ENTIRE time), said: "Do you feel like you're choking?"

YES, I nodded.

At that point, I guess they suctioned me, or something, and then...(sorry about this)...I vomited. Well! At least I felt better after that!

The only other glaring memory of this special moment in time was my extreme desire to moisten my mouth. Finally, once they yanked the tube (after four hours), Kath was able to give me ice chips.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. My new BFF!!!!!! (In fact, I overdid it a bit and threw up again, but oh well.)

Anyway, this all occurred in the ICU and I don't remember much else except for how peaceful it was there, and how nice and professional the staff was. In the middle of the night, I could look through a small window and see one of the nurses at her desk, and it was so comforting!

More tomorrow...

P.S. My everlasting (and I mean EVERLASTING) thanks to Kath, Ann, and Polly for being there that Thursday. Hugs to you, my angels!

Foiled Again

Is anyone sensing a pattern here?

Doc's office called at 4 this afternoon and canceled. Stay tuned.

If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium

It was a movie, folks. Starring Suzanne Pleshette. Look it up, if you don't remember.

So, the movie's apropos of nothing except the new date for which my surgery is scheduled.

Next Tuesday, March 2nd.

Gulp. Gag. Shudder.

I hesitate to blast this news across the blogsphere, cuz...well, like, ya never know. Things can always change. For instance, tomorrow when I report in (for the second time) at the pre-registration soiree, the nurse may hear me hack (and/or wheeze) and decide my doc's scheduling person is nuts. (I mean, isn't it kind of important to be breathing properly when you have surgery?) Oh, well. Maybe by Tuesday.

Tuesday...................

Voicemails You Really Don't Wanna Hear on Your Cell

"Hi, Randy. We're just following up to see how you're feeling and to tell you we've tentatively rescheduled you for Thursday."

Um, no...I don't think so. Let me stop hacking first....

Postponed!

Wouldn't you know?? I get all psyched up for tomorrow's surgery....then wake up with a raspy throat on Saturday...followed by a slight cough on Sunday...followed by full-blown (note the pun) runny nose this morning.

Went to my 9:30 pre-registration appt this morning anyway, but as soon as I told the nurse about my cold, she summoned the "cardiac coordinator." She in turn tried contacting my surgeon's office but (hello!! holiday!!!), they were incommunicado. So then she called my doctor's cell phone. Found him on the ski slopes somewhere. (Um, seriously?? Ski slopes today, my HEART at 7 a.m. the next??)

He quickly instructed the nice coordinator lady to cancel me. Said we'd reschedule later.

Yeah, and maybe he gets another day on the slopes. Me? I'm in bed with a 100 degree temp that's rising.

Doesn't it just figure??

No Date Yet

For those who keep asking, the answer is: NO. I still don't have the date of my upcoming surgery. But I'm pretty sure it'll be the week of February 15th...um...which is only a little more than a week away. Ya think I should start preparing....? Or should I just continue pretending I don't have to do it??

In other news, my dad (who fell last week and fractured hip) is being moved from the hospital to a nursing/rehab facility today.

Onward and upward, eh?

Eek! Not Yet!

The good news (well, I GUESS it's good news) is that I got approval for less-invasive-guy (AKA Surgeon No. 2) at better-hospital-place (AKA St. Joseph's in Burbank). Hard to believe this went so smoothly after all the trouble I went to just to get the consult approval.

So here we are.

What's next?

Uh, I guess I have to actually schedule the, y'know...SURGERY.

I managed to punch the numbers on the phone and eventually got put through to the surgery scheduling person, a woman who sounded especially harried and busy. After I'd identified myself, she reported that yes, they'd just received their copy of the authorization but that she hadn't spoken to the surgeon yet.

"Are you on blood thinners?" she asked.

"Nope."

"Then, depending on the availability of the anesthesiologist, I think we'll be able to put you on the schedule for next week."

"WHOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Okay, I didn't really screech that, but I may have made a similar sound. And then I added that I wasn't quite, er, ready.

"When were you thinking you'd like to do this?"

Did I detect a slightly smirky tone...? As in, you'll do this whenever the surgeon can you fit you in?

No. Probably just me being a little sensitive. In any case, I offered up the third week in February (right after I get all our company insurance renewed, please--and the rest of my life, like, ORGANIZED) and she seemed to think that would work out.

Gack.

Other Sides Heard From

Hey, people...remember who you're dealing with here. Queen of Wishy-wash. Devil's Advocate Extraordinaire. A woman with the ability to talk herself INTO...and OUT OF almost anything.

Which is why a couple incoming emails threw me into schizoid territory this week. Well-meaning votes for the traditional sternotomy instead of the less invasive approach.

Gah.

Decided it was time for extreme measures. Yes, I actually registered as a bona fide member at valvereplacement.com. And posed a question to fellow members who've gone through the "portal access" procedure...How, I asked, did you justify it to yourself in face of the arguments made against it?

Meanwhile, I'm checking on the status of my referral request. So far, I've been on hold for thirty-five minutes...and counting....

The Rain Don't Stay On the Plain

Storm Watch 2010

It's raining kitties and bow-wows, folks.

We Have A Winner!

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Barring unforeseen circumstances, the guy in this picture will be doing the slicing and dicing. That is, if Health Net doesn't try to make my life miserable.

And, no...I didn't pick him based on looks. Shame on you. Perish the thought.

(Wink)

Not For The Squeamish

Option 1.
Option 2.
Seems like a no-brainer, doesn't it??

What NOT To Say

Here's a sweet exchange which occurred at a Bat Mitzvah I recently attended whereupon I encountered many old "friends."

Old "Friend": "I hear you need a heart valve replacement."

Me: "Sucks, doesn't it?"

Old "Friend": "Are you still smoking?"

Me (shrugging sheepishly): "Yes."

Old "Friend" (with a dismissive wave of the hand): "Then I don't feel sorry for you."

Isn't that nice? I think I mumbled something defensive about it being a congenital defect, not effected by smoking, and that in fact, my arteries are CLEAR, but I imagine the din of the party drowned out my protest.

I may never speak to this old "friend" again.

Title Change?

In the old days, you'd be guessing this post might be about changing the title of a manuscript.

Ah...the old days.

Nope. Today I'm referring to how I should maybe change this to Randy Writes About Her Heart Valve Replacement. Talk about a catchy title, huh?

Anyway, it occurs to me that not everyone's on Facebook (where from time to time I drop a brief update on the progress I'm making toward heart surgery). Indeed, I hear frequently from readers who wonder where my blog has gone.

With that in mind, here's a quick recap:

After nephew Brian (without experiencing ANY symptoms) discovered SEVEN blocked arteries, I figured I'd better get checked out myself. Saw a cardiologist in September who wasn't happy with my heart murmur. More tests in October confirmed "severe aortic stenosis" or, in other words, badass narrowing of the aortic valve. Prescription: Aortic Valve Replacement (better known as AVR).

Next test was an angiogram (I believe I posted a picture of my hospitalized self on the blog somewhere) during which it was determined my arteries were clear, so no need to tack on Coronary Bypass Surgery to the AVR. Yay for small miracles.

Consulted a surgeon and got the low-down, but meanwhile did some research on my own. Something called Less Invasive Surgery sounded mucho appealing, but how to go about making it happen?

Ah...that's when "possible surgery in November" turned into the interminable wait. Without going into boring detail, let's just say it takes a Ph.D. to navigate the complicated terrain of health insurance, and I ain't got no Ph.D.

Cutting to the chase...I saw a second surgeon yesterday, one who does indeed do a less invasive procedure. Oh, wait. Let's back up for the uninitiated. Traditional AVR is where they hack your sternum down the middle, spread your ribcage open, and have at it.

Hence the interest in "less invasive."

As opposed to ripping your chest hope, the surgeon makes a smaller incision above the breast and goes through the ribs.

Ouch, no matter how you slice it. (Ha. Slice it. I crack myself up.)

Anyway, here's the dilemma: yeah, surgeon guy number two CAN and WILL do the "less invasive," but is it his first choice?

Uh, no.

Basically, his point was: Why not make it as easy as possible for the surgeon to do his job?

Hm.

Bottom line...more to think about--but not much time for it since yesterday's guy gave the impression that I need to get this accomplished sooner rather than later. ("Really? You're not having problems with passing out?")

Decisions, decisions...long time blog readers know I SUCK at making decisions!

Stay tuned....

I Could Get Used to Seeing This....

Snapped with a cellphone as I stood in the living room of a condo my sister-in-law and I own in Pacific Beach. Tragically, the interior view is not as pretty...but it will be once we're done renovating!!

Mariachi Christmas with the Bay and Scopaz Family

Christmas 2009

Evan and the Mariachis

Hm. Is it me, or does this video lack...er...SOUND?

UPDATED: Yeah, well...it helps to turn up the volume.

Treat Yourself