Turning 55

Technically speaking, that’s where I’m at today. Turning 55. Tomorrow, I won’t be able to write that because I will have already turned.

I googled “turning 55” to see what wonderful things I can expect.

The first hit offered all kinds of uplifting BS like “knowledge is power.” Huh? That’s all? What about that Senior Citizen’s discount at Denny’s? They haven’t upped the minimum, have they?

The second hit came from a guy looking for adult-oriented living communities. Um, I don’t think I’m quite there. Yet.

The next hit was titled “Turning 55 and Invisible.” Are you getting’ the picture that my approaching age is not a GOOD thing?

How ‘bout the blogger who reported having had his first heart attack after “turning 55.” Yeah, that’s the kinda news I wanna hear.

Next I spied David Letterman’s Top Ten List. Finally, I thought. Surely, good for a chuckle. Wrong. It consists of number ten (“There is nothing good about turning 55”) followed by blanks after 9 through 1. If you don’t believe me, click here.

So pathetic.

At least when I turn 64, I'll have that annoying song to look forward to.