A Campaign Stop at the Sagebrush Cantina

I can picture how this must have happened:

L.A. Mayor James Hahn, speaking in a late night strategy session to his staff:
“The election’s on Tuesday, and my numbers are in the toilet. What are we gonna do?”

Enthusiastic statistics guy in white collar and horn-rimmed glasses speaks up from the back: “Uh, I think I have the answer sir.”

A collective sigh of relief permeates the room which is dripping with the humidity of human sweat.

Mayor Hahn: “Out with it, young man.”

Geeky guy: “Well, sir, based on my research, I’ve discovered a group of constituents both parties have heretofore ignored. We’re talking big numbers, sir. Huge numbers, as a matter of fact. If we can get their vote, we’re a shoe-in.”

Mayor Hahn, clapping hands together eagerly: “Excellent work! We’ll schedule a campaign appearance immediately. I’ll give a speech to this neglected group. So, tell me. Who are they? Downtrodden farm workers? Illegal aliens? Oops. Sorry. Politically incorrect. Illegal immigrants. ”

Geeky guy: “Er, no. Neither one.”

Mayor Hahn: “No, no. Of course, not. Villaraigosa’s got them both in his back pocket. Who, then?”

Geeky guy, a flush of pride staining his cheeks: “Women with surgically altered breasts.”

Mayor Hahn, cocking his head: “Excuse me? I must have misunderstood. Thought you said something about women with big hooters.”

Excitement buzzes through the room. Staff members high five each other and do little jigs.

Mayor Hahn slaps his head: “Of course! You’ve nailed it! This is Southern California, after all! The silicone capital of the world! Cancel my appearances at those black churches and somebody get Bob McCord on the horn…tell him to warm up the stage…I’m coming to the Sagebrush Cantina!”

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Okay. Totally inside joke. You had to be there to appreciate it. But as Mayor Hahn took the stage to address an assortment of bikers, babes and boozers, I had to ask myself: Why the Sagebrush Cantina? Did he think he’d find Mexicans at a Mexican restaurant??