Don't Be Fooled

Cruising ain’t always relaxing. Here was the schedule Sunday night—mind you this was JUST Sunday night:

6:00p.m. Back at the miniscule room (this was RCL not Carnival!), I shower, change, fluff and fold myself into evening attire.
7:00p.m. Meet Marty and Ann at Schooner Bar
7:15p.m. Slide into seats for the Farewell Show which consists of two comedians and a song and dance number by the usual flora dora girls
8:30p.m. Dinner--I opt for shrimp bisque, tossed salad, peppered steak with béarnaise sauce, mashed potatoes (I substitute them for the potatoes Lyonnaise), baked Alaska, and for refreshments: one cabernet, one B-52, one decaf
9:30p.m. Dueling pianos
10:30p.m. Latin dancing
12:00 While Marty and Ann take in the X-rated late show, I return to the casino to recoup a little of my losses
3:00’ish a.m. They shut down the crap table so I drag myself back to the room to pack
4:00 a.m. I go to bed
7:00 a.m. Just a tad groggy, I rise and somehow make myself presentable
8:00 a.m. Meet friends on deck and wait for our “debarkation number” to be called
8:30 a.m. We get called early, and exit the ship relatively quickly
9:30 a.m. Marty’s car breaks down on the 405 freeway
9:35 a.m. I use my dwindling cell phone battery in an attempt to reach the friends who left the ship after us; I get nothing but Spanish....?
10:00 a.m. Charley, the tow truck driver from El Salvador, arrives and tows us 55 miles to where we drop off Marty’s car at the mechanic; Charley obligingly then takes us to Marty and Ann’s house
11:00 a.m. We dig into chips, salsa, and a couple of B-52’s
Noon until 6 a.m. this morning: I sleep and sleep and sleep

Just a note of comparison for anyone interested...In March I did the 3-day cruise on Carnival’s Paradise. For a change of pace, this time I tried Royal Caribbean’s Monarch of the Seas.

Paradise Pros:

Steak and lobster on formal night (and, by the way, as much of it as you want!)
Much larger staterooms with bigger windows
Much larger elevators (ah, you think the size of an elevator’s not important? Think again)
More diversity in bars and entertainment
Meals more appetizingly described on menu


Monarch of the Seas Pros:

Better layout of nightlife area—access to decks from nightspots (big plus!) Not sure, but this may be due to Monarch’s age
Better lunch
Bigger pools but less of them (nothing but kids in pool and jacuzzi’s—yuck!)
Nicer deck chairs
Debarkation a breeze vs. 40 minutes spent waiting in a long hallway on Paradise
Better TV selections; 3 recent release movie channels plus a channel running nothing but sitcoms

Differences (no value judgment here)

Paradise has wooden decks throughout; Monarch has some sort of blue Astroturf stuff

Similarities:

NO GOOD-LOOKING SINGLE MEN



L to R: Ann, Marty, Randy