Interviews

I was checking out Annie Rayburn's blog and discovered a link to her very first interview as a published author. How cool is that?

Then I sobered. How come nobody ever interviews unpublished authors? I mean, where is the fairness in that?

So, without further ado, here is mine:

Interviewer: Hi, Randy. Thank you for taking the time to speak with us today.

Me: Well, I just ruined my streak of 950 consecutive Free Cell wins, so I’m taking a break.

Interviewer: All unpubbed authors dream of the day they’ll get “the call.” Can you tell us what getting “the call” would mean to you?

Me: The call? There’s a call? Like on the phone? Excuse me, gotta go check my messages. (Pause) Okay, where were we?

Interviewer: Er, let’s move on. Do you have an agent?

Me: Sure, doesn’t everyone? Mine’s with Mercury Casualty.

Interviewer: I was referring to—well, never mind. Why don’t you tell us about the project you’re currently working on.

Me: Hey, thanks for asking! I’ve pretty much given up on romantic suspense, historicals (all eras), single title contemporary, category, and westerns so that leaves me with fantasy, sci-fi, and chick-lit. My new novel is titled “Cinderstellar” and it’s about this editorial assistant at Vogue who goes from planet to planet searching for the lost mate to her favorite pair of Pradas.

Interviewer: Um, sure you don't mean Manalo's?

Me: Whatever.

Interviwer: Sounds fascinating.

Me: Yeah, I can’t wait to start querying.

Interviewer: Tell us about your writing process. Are you a pantser or a plotter?

Me: Neither. Personally, I find it much easier to plagiarize. Takes all the stress out.

Interviewer: I think that’s about all the time we have for today. Thanks again for speaking with us.

Me: My pleasure. By the way, who do I make the check out to?