Ho Hum...Pant, Pant

I’m afraid I have an undiagnosed condition. Syndrome. Whatever.

Actually, it’s a problem the medical profession hasn’t discovered yet. Kinda like back in the days when that kid in the corner of the classroom was just dumb instead of having Attention Deficit Disorder.

To give my illness a sense of cache, I looked up some Latin and came up with the word acedia. Right. So, I have acedia phobia. Before you head off to Googleland, let me help you. According to this site, the Christian church “has traditionally named boredom-under the Latin title acedia-as one of the seven deadly sins. Frederick Buechner describes it as a voluntary form of death. Boredom is an absence of feeling, emotional flatness, passivity to life, lack of interest in anything.”

Okay, wait. I don’t have that.

No, what I have is a FEAR of boredom.

Back to Google.

Ah…what I have is THAASOPHOBIA. Who knew they had a term for fear of boredom? I feel so blessed to have found it. Much like the elation those who suffer from fibromyalgia must feel when a study comes out saying it’s a real disease.

Before you scoff at my so-called illness, let me show you how it manifests itself.

One time I was at a company Christmas party and the guy that wrote our technical manuals launched into a dissertation on the history of the stapler. I started getting short of breath and my head threatened to quiver off my shoulders. My natural defense against boredom in full operation.

But don’t think this thaasophobia thing only rears its ugly head in social situations. Oh, no. It permeates my entire life.

That blanket of leaves on my patio isn’t there because I’m lazy. Nope. Chalk it up to Thaasophobia.

All that junk in my garage screaming for a dumpster? Again, Thaasophobia.

Uh-oh…do I feel a bout of it coming on right this second?

Before I go, I’ll leave you with this poem I wrote in Junior High.

Upon a misty morn I came
With no one to disturb the flame
That kindered my spirit deep within
Which had no name and could not win
To overcome my boredom.