Monday, June 13, 2005
A Single Romance Writer Laments
Okay, picture this:
I’m at a bar with some friends when I run into a guy I’ve met on a couple other occasions. Let’s say that on the male version of the Bo Derek scale for looks he rates about a 6.5. However, he’s bright, entertaining, stable and single—in other words, possesses the minimum qualifications for dating material. One of my friends even claims the guy has a “thing” for me.
So, he goes to say good night, leans over to give me a kiss and whispers: “I’d sure like to sweat all over you.”
????????????
I don’t even remember what kind of reply I sputtered.
Then he says, “What kind of lingerie do you have at home?”
????????????
How does a well-educated, successful man arrive at the conclusion that these are good come-on lines? Trust me, I’ve done nothing to make him think I’m the town slut.
Then, beginning to wonder, I think: Uh-oh. He knows I write romance novels.
In some people’s minds, this translates to: She writes about sex.
So is that what prompted the pathetic stab at a pick-up? Does he imagine he’s just lifted a piece of dialogue from one of my books?
All I can say is, eeuuuuwww.
On the other hand, if the guy were a “10,” I might have said, “you’re place or mine.”
(Okay, just kidding about that last part. Maybe.)
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1 comment:
One of my favorite movies is Love Actually, which describes the trials of some really nice people trying to establish relationships later in life, and showing how difficult it is for sensetive people.
Thinking Closer was similar, especially with the award aclaim, I tried to watch it. Much of it matched your eeuuuuwww, as the main characters appeared to be contesting as to who could do the sleeziest pickup line. It lowered my opinion of Julia Roberts (missed seeing Full Frontal), Natalie Portman (each movie she does is worse than the one before), and Clive Owen (the next James Bumb?). Jude Law already sucked in my opinion, so he stayed the same. The sleeziest pickup line award had to go to Clive Owen, who went from rather decent in King Author to internet pond scum.
Maybe your tin hero watched Closer and was practicing his own award winning pickup lines.
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