It’s been awhile since I’ve had either a dog or a man in my life. As I pondered rectifying the situation (at least where the dog is concerned), I got to comparing male human qualities with canine ones. Guess who came out on top?
Man: “Putting on a little weight, aren’t you honey? Maybe you should skip the treats.”
Dog: “You gained five pounds? No way. Um, got any treats you wanna share?”
Man: “What’re we having for dinner tonight? And, please. Not leftovers again.”
Dog: “Mmmm. Was that the sound of the can opener? (Pant, pant) Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Treats!”
Man, thinking to himself, at a social gathering: “Wow, look at the rack on that babe. Wonder what she’s like in bed?”
Dog, thinking to himself, at a social gathering: “Goody, goody, goody, I’m with my master, I’m with my master. I’ve got the BEST master in the park. Wonder if she brought along some treats?”
Man: “Touch that remote and you’re dead. We’re watching the O’Reilly Factor.”
Dog: “Remote? What’s a remote? Think I’ll just curl up next to you and watch that Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks flick. Hey! Thanks for the popcorn. Pretty good catch, huh? Got any more treats?”
Man: “Bad day, honey? Well, let me tell you about mine.”
Dog: “I have no existence other than when I’m in your presence. Is that a pig’s ear your’re hiding behind your back?”
Man: “I hate all your girlfriends.”
Dog: “Can Kathy and Juli come over and bring Hunter and Buddi? I promise to play nicely and share my treats.”
Man, in bed, poking from behind: “Hey, honey…I’m in the mood.”
Dog, in bed, curled up next to you: “Ah, this is bliss. You’re the only treat I need.”
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2 comments:
Not very flattering to the males in this world. Accruate, maybe, but guys have to be worth something once in a while.
Anyway, did you get the little fluff dog or what?
Ah, male bashing is such an easy source of humor, isn't it?
No news on the fluff dog front (I used to call Kody my little fluff-pup)...
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