Guaranteed To Piss You Off

Or at least shake your head in dazed confusion. (Yes, just another bonus I offer faithful blogreaders.)

So...today I was browsing the FBO site. For the uninitiated, that stands for Federal Business Opportunities and it's where the government maintains a database of solicitation requests for items and services it intends to purchase. I was looking for a scheduled announcement regarding altitude chambers for a research wing of the Department of the Air Force.

Well.

On any given day, you can stumble over stuff to make your head spin. Here's the one that caused my Linda Blair moment this morning:

Solicitation HE1260-09-T-4000
Original synopsis pre-solicitation notice issued October 09, 2008 at 7:19p.m., modification issued same date at 7:41p.m. with the final solicitation issued 2:45a.m. on October 10, 2008.

Are you ready......???????????

The title is: CHEERLEADER CLINIC-YONGSAN, S. KOREA

Okay, deep breaths now....

Let's discuss.

First, the verbiage: "The Department of Defense Dependents Schools (DoDDS) Pacific intends to issue on a Full and Open Competition basis, Firm Fixed Price Purchase Order to procure a Cheerleading Clinic in Seoul, South Korean. The period of performance will be from 03 November 2008 through 07 November 2008. The contractor shall provide all labor, materials and supplies necessary to provide cheerleading training for approximately 120 participants. Specific details shall be included in the Request for Quote (RFQ) Number HE1260-09-T-4000 to be posted in the Federal Business Opportunities website on or about 10 October 208, to close 5 days...blah, blah, blah...

This is just wrong on so many levels, isn't it??

First...what the hell is the Department of Defense doing arranging for cheerleading clinics? Don't they have more important things to do...like, um, kill terrorists?

Second...Seriously? Korea? (Okay, I "get" that these girls are the daughters of men and women stationed in Korea. But still.)

Third...Full and Open competition? Is this a hot industry I should know about?

Finally, and most importantly, since when did it become necessary to conduct professionally designed clinics to teach young women the art of cheerleading? Oh, I'm not so old that I don't know this goes on in the states. My own great-niece began participating in them before she even reached her teen years. But I remember a time when the "older girls" handed down their routines to the "younger girls." No camp. No clinic. No per diem expenses in a town half-way across the state, let alone the country (or sea).

All I can say is: Sis-boom-BAH (humbug).

Another fine example of our (fast-dwindling) tax $$$$ at work.