Thursday, July 07, 2005

Very Truly Yours, Anonymous

You know the worst part about blogging?

You’re driving along with your mind doing its customary random iterations…suddenly, you hit on a great topic for your blog. You start mentally composing it, marveling at your brilliance and how it will make people laugh out loud. Your typing fingers begin to itch.

You arrive at your destination, race to the computer, and screech to a halt.

What about that guy, girl, friend, colleague, business associate, relative, store clerk, random stranger you gave your blog address to? The one you’re about to piss off?

Your shoulders deflate in frustration.

So, here now…if I had the time and—well, let’s be honest, the energy—to create an alternative blog to which I would never, ever reveal the address…the first topics I would cover:

Male sexuality—the myths I’ve witnessed firsthand


Co-workers I would like to send on permanent business trips

Friends I secretly think are too stupid too live

My opinion on the war in Iraq, abortion, illegal immigration and Paris Hilton’s Burger King commercial

How the query process is going with my second book

The skeletons in my family closet

Stories about myself that are a hundred times more embarrassing than the shoe fiasco

Skanks I know personally

Anything anyone ever said to me that was prefaced with: “Psst... swear to God you won't tell anyone?”

Ahhhhh...that last one...I could devote a year's worth of blogs to that one alone.

If only I'd stayed anonymous.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well, yes, any of those topics could get you into a world full of trouble. With that said, I'd LOVE to read them, LOL. Hmmm, of course, that's as long as *I'M* not mentioned in any of them.

--Pam