Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Ah, Youth
















This, in case you can't tell, is the photo album I put together for each of my old (and I do mean OLD) girlfriends. It's approximately 30 pages and leather-bound. Pretty cool, huh?

Here's the deal. First, you download the software from Picaboo for free. It then provides various layouts, corner choices, page colors, cover options, etc. The hardest part is choosing the photographs and getting them assembled onto the computer. For this project, I used a lot of older photos I had to scan. Somewhere in the process, I decided to convert everything to black and white which was simple for the scanned ones, but took an extra step with stuff I already had in digital (I used Picasa for the conversion). Anyway, in the end, after getting everything the way you want, you click on "buy book" and voila! It ships to you within a week.

Okay, now here's the sad part, so beware: spending hours hovering over old pictures is like a trip back in time to your youth. When you re-surface, look in the mirror and see NO RESEMBLANCE to that person in the photos, you MAY wanna abandon the entire project.

You MUST persevere, though.

Otherwise, you might as well toss out all those musty photographs you've been meaning to organize some day, and that would kinda be a crime, wouldn't it??

Click HERE to view the entire album.

Monday, September 08, 2008

A Case Of Wine And Thou

Ouch.

Didja notice the title of this post?? A CASE of wine. That, according to our hostess, Kathleen, is what the four of us went through between 3p.m. on Saturday and 3:30a.m. Sunday morning.

Okay, give us a wee break. Turns out (after much blog archive searching for evidence), we haven't seen much of each other in the past two years.

Still...12 bottles of wine?? Is that even POSSIBLE?? (Wait a minute. Hold on. Kath's nephew showed up for a couple of hours--surely, he's responsible for a bottle or two...? Maybe he managed to shove a couple in his back pockets before leaving...?)

Anyway, a great time was had by all, yada yada. I gave them each a photo album I made, which you may view on-line by clicking here.

Sad, sad, proof that some of us (and by that I mean, ME) have definitely seen better days. And if you think I'm gonna post any of the photos taken this weekend, think again!

Friday, September 05, 2008

Writing Stuff

Contrary to recent posts, Randy DOES continue to write romance. Currently, I'm hacking away at a manuscript for which the full has been requested by an agent.

So, that's something, right?

Meanwhile, partials of various manuscripts remain in slush piles all across Manhattan. My favorite is the partial that's been "with an editor" for nearly two years. (Yep, no typo there. TWO YEARS.) Another one--this an actual REQUEST--is going on ten months. Suffice to say, there are others that I suspect are lost forever with no response, despite the SASE provided. Ditto for a couple of short stories submitted twice (not to True Romance, by the way).

In the department of new writing, well...I'm trying an approach which I think can best be summed up as "letting the story come to me" instead of forcing it. When I first began this journey of questionable wisdom, it seemed prudent to have a second manuscript ready in the event the first one garnered significant interest. So I feverishly went about completing Stealing Amy (and then sold down the river to an epub). Then I wrote Leftovers. These days, I'm not in the same kind of hurry. As a result, after completing Lights! Camera! Love! back in February (March?), I didn't rush to start something new. Did a lot of research, though. Sketched out some characters and snippets of ideas. Conjured up a few possible plot lines. Tossed them out to my critique partners who came back with all kinds of help.

Still, the story didn't take shape--it didn't fit the nebulous vision in my brain.

So I waited.

Yesterday, I admitted to myself that I've been avoiding the structure the book absolutely MUST have if I'm to succeed at what I set out to achieve. Truthfully, I'm not sure I have the chops to pull it off, but I have to try.

The cool thing is that I get a little tingle in my writing fingers when I think about rising to the challenge.

Wish me luck!

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Book Buzz Blog

Today's post comes courtesy of writing friend Carol Burnside who tagged me with the following:

Rules:
I am going to list three categories of books: 5 MUST Read Books, 5 Books on Your Nightstand, and 5 Look For These Soon. Anyone I tag should put these same lists on their blog but SUBTRACT one book from each list and ADD one of their own. Then they should tag at least 5 more bloggers. It will be fun to see how the lists change as it goes around the blogosphere. Since this is Book Buzz…please keep your lists to titles released in 2007-2009.

At first I didn't read the rules carefully enough. I thought I had to come up with five in each category...SCARY since, truth be told, I don't read NEARLY enough. However, now that I've re-read Carol's post, I'm fairly confident I can add one to each. Hm. I'm guessing I subtract the number one entry and add mine to the end, so that's what I'll do.

5 MUST Read Books:
1. Kushiel’s Mercy by Jacqueline Carey
2. A Mile in My Flip-Flops by Melody Carlson
3. Lover Unbound by J.R. Ward
4. What Mattered Most by Linda Winfree
5. Story by Robert McKee

5 Books on the Nightstand:

1. Nick's New Heart by Susan May
2. Crazy in Love by Lani Diane Rich
3. Pleasure by Eric Jerome Dickey
4. From Harvey River by Lorna Goodison
5. The Survivor's Club by Lisa Gardner

5 Look For These Soon:

1. Evernight by Claudia Gray
2. Just One of the Guys by Kristan Higgins
3. The Black Dagger Brotherhood by J.R. Ward
4. Truth and Consequences by Linda Winfree
5. Remember Me by Sophie Kinsella

Okay, now I'm supposed to tag 5 bloggers...except I barely know one. How can that be???

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Random Vegas Pictures















The above is a cool window in the shower, convenient for view-gazing while sudsing up.














I'm thinkin' this palm tree was transplanted from New Orleans via some kinda FEMA relocation program.

Night life along the strip as we crawl through typical Saturday night traffic.












Sunday, August 31, 2008

What Happens In Vegas...





















...stays in Vegas. And when NOTHING happens in Vegas, you upload a picture.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Paging Dr. Kildare!

On Thursday night, I ended up slaving away at work until 11 p.m. (I know! Shocking!) Naturally, I hadn't packed for Vegas yet, so I finally hit the sack around 1 or so...and, suddenly, from across the room, I hear a b-r-r-ring (y'know, like when a text message arrives?). Hm, I think. WHO could be texting me at this ungodly hour??

So I get up to check.

And here is what I found:
















Yep. And the caption read: "Marty in ER."

Furious texting ensued. Bottom line: we're politely referring to this episode as a "gastrointestinal problem."

And he's fine. Outta the ER by 3 a.m. and in Vegas by 2 that afternoon.

Which is where I'm posting this from. (Hey, you thought a little eight-hour trip to the ER was gonna interfere with a gambling soujourn? Think again.)

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Stop! Thief!

As a public service, I offer this ALL POINTS BULLETIN:

Description: Long, lazy days
Wearing: Mild afternoons and cool nights
Alias: Goes by the name of Summer
Last seen around the middle of June

Anyone with information on where Summer's gone should contact local authorities.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Cheap Humor, Cheap Shots

I wish I had the time to explore this topic in a cogent, enlightening, way...but, hey--I'm here at the day job, and it pays the bills, so I'm doing this on the fly. And the only reason I bring it up is because a) I finished reading my manuscript "Lights! Camera! Love!" last night, and b) well, it's a political year, ain't it?

Lots of humor on TV relies on sarcasm. For instance, when's the last time an adolescent on a sitcom was portrayed as anything but a snarky brat, quick with the snappy one-liners designed to thoroughly ridicule his/her mom or dad? Nice. Such a sure-fire mechanism to draw the yucks. And we wonder why kids grow up without learning the first thing about respect.

Which brings me to the current state of politics. Isn't there any other way to drive home a point than to use sarcasm? Are we as a nation so desensitized, that the only way we "get" something is if it's couched in sarcasm? And I'm not just talking politicians, although gee--wouldn't it be cool if they led by example? And I'm not talking one party vs. the other--they're both guilty.

But when it's the anchormen engaging in tit-for-tat...geez, I'm getting so bored.

The same holds true in romance writing. Bickering doesn't equal conflict--at least to me--and, it's not amusing. After reading my manuscript last night, I'm supremely satisfied that the conflict and humor derive from clever turns of phrases and unusual word usage--not from two people trying to verbally lay each other low.

Hm. For a post on humor, this ain't too funny, eh? I guess for additional entertainment, I could point you to the youtube videos that prompted this post, but then I'd be contributing to precisely what I wish would go away.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The Last One, I Promise!















Can't help it. One more....the proud parents, Brian and Julie-Ann, plus their new little one, Paige.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Paige Is Here! ! ! ! ! ! ! !








Welcome to the world, Paige! Can't wait to meet you in person!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

A Golden Freebie


If you read between the lines of my posts regarding the giveaways at National, you probably "get" that I'm usually a little less-than-thrilled. Don't get me wrong. It's not anyone's fault that most of the books just aren't a genre I care about, and I'm sure they each have merit. Still, in the last couple years, I've been disappointed by the contemporary offerings.

Until San Francisco.

Yippee! At the second lunch, we scored a copy of Skinny Dipping by Connie Brockway, and I finished reading it this week. LOVED IT.

Okay, in the interest of full disclosure, I admit the setting gripped me from the start. I mean, hello! A lake in Minnesota--cousin Lindsay, are you paying attention?? And the heroine wasn't some mindless 23-year old, she was a mature 41. The bonus? She was of Norwegian descent, just like me!

I instantly fell in love with the supporting cast of characters, and who wouldn't? There's the brainy-but-awkward Prescott who also happens to be the hero's adult son. There's the hero himself--a guy whose backstory Brockway handles with such finesse, she left me in awe. Even the three adopted canines had more character depth than I see in a lot of books.

Funny and poignant--Skinny Dipping weaves together an intricate web of plot threads designed to remind us how enriched our lives are when we preserve fragile familial links from generation to generation.

At least that's what it meant to me.

Okay, stop reading blogs and go pick up a copy of Skinny Dipping by Connie Brockway.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

A Nugget From National

Now it can be told. The secret is out.

According to bestselling author Joan Johnston, one of the ways to write an unputdownable novel is to...(wait for it)...write short chapters!

Well...gee...I've been doing that all along, haven't I?? Even in the face of countless blogs and how-to books that said chapters *should* consist of approximately 3 scenes and be about 15 pages.

Not mine, I thought rebelliously. 'Cuz when it comes to my own reading experience, how often do I flip to the end of a chapter to see how many pages are left? (Translation: do I keep going? Or do I go ahead and put the book down mid-chapter? Well, you see where that leads...long chapters = a tendency to put the book aside before you've gotten to the hook that'll keep you reading.)

And let's face it, between cable TV, video games, surfing the web--oh, and (for some) feeding the rugrats--who needs a saga which appears to require huge chunks of time? Breaking it down into smaller doses is much less daunting.

I don't have my notes in front of me, but Joan spoke of books with (eek)
upwards of eighty--ninety chapters. Okay, for me that's going a teensy bit too far.

Still...I'm lovin' the new-found freedom of writing whatever damn-length chapters I choose. Y'know, now that I've got the seal of approval from the likes of Joan Johnston.

Monday, August 18, 2008

From The Vaults

In typical true schizo fashion, I'm having a helluva time starting a new book. As in, writing one, of course. First, it turns out that having a great title doesn't necessarily spark an idea from an ember to a full-fledged fire, er, book. Second, having a great premise...well, ditto. As my nephew would say: "Frat boys find themselves holed up in ocean front mansion...high-jinx ensue." It's the high jinx ensue part that has me stymied on both story ideas.

Meanwhile, I was browsing around my computer and stumbled on a file from a couple years ago. Guess what? It's 150 pages worth of not bad. Great title, great premise...and, hey! Promising high-jinx!

Hence the latest plan. Complete unfinished book from--what? 3? 4 years ago??--while still mentally plotting other options to get ready for NaNo in November.

Let the high jinx begin!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Color Me Californian

So last night, upstairs in my bedroom, I'm watching women's gymnastics "live" (yeah, right--thanks, NBC), and I see a flash of light outside the window.

Damn neighbors, I think.

They're always tinkering with boats, motorcycles, cars--you name it--and at all hours of the night. Must be doing test drives, hanging U-eys in the middle of the cul-de-sac.

I continue watching amazing feats on the uneven bars.

Over the next hour, I see the flash of light several more times. Finally, I decide it's NOT the neighbors--it's the street lamp with a short. I even get up to peek out the window for investigation. Hm. Strong, steady, beam.

At one-twenty, I switch off the TV, exhausted from my contribution--clenched jaw, taut muscles, adrenaline-laced heart--to winning the all-around gold. (Yay, me!)

Another flash of light.

And um...what's that....? THUNDER?

Oh.

I get it now.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Must-See Blog Reading

First thing in the morning, after my computer powers up, I have a ritual. All of you probably do. Mine is:

1) Check stock prices on homepage
2) Check headlines to the right on homepage
3) Go to webmail; check personal email
4) Go to company webmail, delete all the spam, then click on Outlook Express to open mail for real.
5) While mail is downloading, check The Drudge Report
6) And finally, my must-read blogs:

In no particular order (and for various reasons!):

Author Diana Peterfreund
Author Kwana Jackson
Agent Kristin Nelson
Agent Janet Reid
Agent Nathan Bransford
Agent Janet Reid's Query Shark
Bookends Literary
Not Yet A Wino
Manic Mommy
Reagan 'Round the World

Now some of those are easy to explain--the writerly ones, if you will. Then there's Not Yet A Wino--I just love the way this chick expresses herself. Quirky, honest, and so ME back when I was in my thirties (hell, maybe even now). Which, you might note is quite the opposite when it comes to Manic Mommy--I mean, we have NOTHING in common, but she cracks me up all the same. That last one--Reagan 'Round the World--is the blog of my cousin's daughter, and she's literally doing a whirlwind gig this summer as part of her law school studies.

Anyway, LONG story SHORT, I have a new AUTO read! Yes folks, I now turn your attention to my latest discovery (and I wish I could give credit where it's due, but I don't know who led me to this little nugget).......CAKEWRECKS! Ahhhh, don't you just LOVE the blogosphere? Totally useless information at your fingertips! This particular site is maintained by a witty writer whose public service is to provide insight into professional cake decorating screw-ups. Who KNEW there'd be enough material for daily postings?? But, yes! Turns out there is!

So, go check it out...and if you're too lazy, the next time you order that cake from Costco and it comes back with something like "Happy Birthday Randy In Green And Yellow" written on it, don't say I didn't warn you!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Confessions of a Slot Slut

Oooh! Sounds like a good title for a True Romance story, doesn't it? Speaking of True Romance (hey, what a segue), check it out.

On Saturday, I was up at my stomping grounds (better known as the Chumash Casino) where I spent some quality time with the True Romance slot machine (pictured above). Yes folks, instead of cherries and bars, what you want here are lots of roses and half-naked lovers (well, who doesn't?) Slipping into master spy mode, I snapped these pix with my cell phone.

I always spend a little quality time with this machine, thinking Fate has something in store for me...alas, so far, no big win.

A more lucrative stop happened later at the 3-card poker table where I hit a straight flush. Cha-ching!

Friday, August 08, 2008

Saving The Best For Last

It’s a tradition.

Find a tall building in the conference city—one with a lounge and killer views. This year, our very own hotel filled the order, maximizing our ooh-and-ah experience on numerous occasions. I only hope the photos do justice to the awesomeness known as “The View” on the 39th floor of the downtown San Francisco Marriott.


















































































































































Thursday, August 07, 2008

Cool Party!

As the interview coordinator for Romance Junkies, my friend Brooke received an invitation to the Bantam-Dell soiree, held this year at The Water Bar--an uber-chic place to "hang" in San Francisco!














Okay, prepare yourself. You're about to O.D. on Bay Bridge photos. Forgive me. I couldn't help it. At least I'll spare you the artsy one I took of it reflecting back from the window...



Anyway, we had a blast talking to old conference friends like agent Lucienne Diver and author Larissa Ione. Plus we made the acquaintance of agent Laurie McLean who gave us a thrill when she dashed to her car for business cards! And we met Lucienne's fascinating client, author Sarah Hoyt.

Alas, the party came to an end. Picture Brooke and I standing at the curb, taxis whizzing past. Brooke turns to a group behind us and (only half-joking) says: "Any of you from New York?" A woman breaks from the pack, steps into the street, and hails us a cab. As we climb in, one of the pack yells, "Hey, did you know a literary agent just got you a taxi?"

Okay. A literary agent got us a taxi...it's a start, huh? Next, a contract!

If only we knew the identity of our mysterious benefactor!

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

More Pics and Fun Times

I have to admit that in my old age, I've developed anti-photo-itis. Meaning, I'm not quick to act when it comes to pictures in which I might have to appear. Consequently, I forget to take pix of others as well. However, I did manage to click a couple here and there. Here are Jacqui Jacoby and Ann Marie Becker.














Next we have the mysterious disappearance of fabulous author and all-around great friend, Janet Mullaney. Those long signings are hell on the bladder, eh Janet?














Oh! She's back! Cool!













Here's the annual group photo of the "Acme Girls" with an honorary member or two. From L to R: TWO-TIME Golden Heart Finalist Kelly Ann Riley, Brooke Wills, Stacy (?), Jacqui Jacoby, ME, and Anna (?). Geez, I really should get better about last names, huh?














And finally, authors Dawn McClure and Maureen Child who asked me to take this picture since they didn't have a working camera! (And yes, I kept myself organized enough to find Dawn's business card stuffed in my purse, so I've already dutifully sent this off.)














See? That's it for the people pictures. Oh, sure I took SEVERAL at the Chick Lit chapter party, but alas I screwed up a camera setting and they all came out blurry. Oh, wait. Maybe blurry is accurate! There was a lot of free-flowing wine and, um, those pomegranite martinis...well...

Tomorrow some FABU photos of scenery taken at the Bantam-Dell Party.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

The City




Ah...San Francisco...how could I have forgotten its charm? Over 20 years have passed since I last viewed the Golden Gate...the Bay Bridge...Simply tragic!













And let's not even DISCUSS the weather! I mean, who walks around in 60 degrees worth of heaven during the Summer?? (Answer: San Franciscans, of course.)















We joined them on Wednesday. Took a leisurely stroll down Market all the way to the Ferry Building (pictured below).













Then made our way down to Pier 39 where we enjoyed lunch and cocktails overlooking the bay...














and contemplated coming back as sea lions in our next life.

Monday, August 04, 2008

In Case You Were Wondering...

...what the RWA literacy signing is like, here's a snippet.

Conference Critique—The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?

The shuttle from the airport worked out well, except I had a hard time finding it, but once I did, it was cool. They had my reservation and even though I’d arrived several hours after “my appointment,” I got on one right away. As usual, several other passengers were headed for the Marriott, so I immediately slipped into conference mode. Strangely, I find that those new faces you meet on the shuttle somehow never again show up during your conference experience! Weird.

Hotel check-in was quick, easy, and painless. The room was nice except unlike other conference hotels, I didn’t have any view whatsoever. And the desk was kinda too high. I would have blogged more from the conference, but typing on my laptop was a pain.

The Marriott’s location was superior! Just steps in any direction, you could find a Rite-Aid to replace the glasses you somehow lost at the Chick Lit party, or a cafe to grab a quick meal. And, of course, BART was just a convenient block away, so you could get lots of places from there (including the Indian casino across the bay in Richmond, FYI).

My only gripe about the hotel involves aspects of its layout. First, the lobby bar was kinda dark and closed-in (as opposed to, say, the open, spacious bar in Dallas). The workshop areas were spread out over several floors, and MANY rooms were too small. I had to walk out of a couple “must-sees” on my list because I didn’t wanna stand (or sit on the floor) for two hours. And because of the aforementioned several floors thing, there was less opportunity for running into people for a quick chat. Then there was the problem of chairs being attached to each other. I understand that makes for a more orderly appearance, but people were WAY too squished together.

Speaking of the workshops…okay, I KNOW a lot of authors, agents, and editors aren’t professional speakers, but…well, let’s just say, it’s truly hit or miss on the workshops. I thoroughly enjoyed Blake Snyder, and a couple of others, but let’s leave it at that.

Oh, wait. One more gripe about the hotel. Oops. Make it two. Out of the seven conferences I’ve been to, the food at this one had to be the worst. And, geez…the price of drinks??? The tab for one round of two vodka tonics varied from $20 to $25. Ouch.











Now, the bar on the 39th floor had the extra added attraction of its incomparable view. Worth the price of drinks, as a matter of fact. But often very crowded and noisy (they really didn’t need to pipe in the booming nightclub music).

As far as organization-type issues, RWA nailed it this year. Registration went quickly, and most events seemed seamlessly smooth. As y’all know, I didn’t pitch, so I have no idea how that worked out, but I didn’t hear any complaints. The awards show was a hoot, and Suzanne Brockmann was a GREAT emcee.

A new wrinkle in the schedule. The AGM was in the morning, followed by the PAN and PRO retreats and other workshops in the afternoon. Have to say I prefer the reverse cuz it kinda leaves an afternoon free. Also, there was no welcome reception. I wouldn’t have thought I’d miss it, but I did—and I spoke to several others who echoed the same sentiment. After all, it’s the one time you can truly mix and mingle in a relaxed setting.

I’m sure I’ll think of other stuff to say about the conference—y’know, as my brain clears—but for now, I think I’ve hit the highlights. Tomorrow I'll post some pictures.

All in all, it was a great conference in a gorgeous city, and I can’t wait for D.C.!!!!!!

Saturday, August 02, 2008

FYI

Here are the freebies we got in our registration bags and at lunch.

The Undead Next Door by Kerrelyn Sparks
Slave by Cheryl Brooks (from teh Cat Star Chronicles)
No One Heard Her Scream by Jordan Dane
Silent In the Sanctuary--A Lady Julia Gray Mystery--by Deanna Raybourn
What a Lady Wants by Victoria Alexander (Keynote Speaker)
A Little Bit Wicked by Victoria Alexander
Dark Needs at Night's Edge by Kresley Cole
Night Keepers by Jessica Anderson
Skinny Dipping by Connie Brockway

Are you gettin' the picture here??? Only one in the sub-genre I write in.

Yikes.

Friday, August 01, 2008

What, me worry?



As promised, this is the anti-pitch conference, and lemme tell ya, I don't miss it a bit! That's why I had this photo taken of me in front of the sign that would normally send shivers down my spine. All morning long, I watched attendees lining up nearby, apprehensively waiting for that signal that their ten minutes was about to begin. But pas moi! No stress here! This is the anti-pitch zone!

And yes, it's a horrible, horrible picture...my eyes are slits, and is it my imagination or does it look like I'm missing a tooth?? Suffice to say, the blame lies entirely on my cell phone camera. I'm confident I look MUCH better in person.

At least that's what I keep telling myself...

Thursday, July 31, 2008

It's All A Blur

I'm supposed to be blogging from National. Doing my part to make those who couldn't come feel like they're here. Only one problem. Well, no...several. First, there's no time. Second, my brain capacity is, er, slightly diminished. And third--it all goes by so fast, who can remember anything?

Which is why you take PICTURES.

Only I don't have the paraphernalia (sp?) to upload them. And, I'm tellin' ya, without the pix as prompts, it all gets pretty hazy.

So at this point, I'll just hit the highlights. Um...I can now say I've ridden Bart beneath the bay. And taken a city bus. Oh, and negotiated with a taxi driver who then proceeded to take us on a suspiciously indirect route to our destination, but it all worked out.

Okay, that previous paragraph had absolutely nothing to do with writing, did it? Sigh. I DID hit some workshops today. THe first one was SRO so I left and tried another which turned out to be unrelated to anything I'm interested in. For the second hour, I hit a Joan Johnston lecture on tips for writing a book the reader can't put down--that one was inspiring! Then, for the last workshop of the day, I supported my friend Jackie Jacobi who was doing a workshop on what we romance writers can learn from Joss Whedon's Firefly. I have to admit I'm totally clueless when it comes to Buffy, Firefly, Serenity and all that stuff, but I gather I need to investigate this phenomenon.

Ooops. I've gone out of order. I forgot to mention last night's Chick Lit Chapter party. Probably because what with all the free wine and munchies, talk about a blur! Anyway, suffice to say that Amanda and Kristen did an awesome job, and most people stayed for the entire party.

Well, in the interest of trying to make the continental breakfast tomorrow at 8 a.m., you're gonna have to forgive this lame post, but I need to snooze.

More coherent stuff later.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Day One

Cancellations, delays, and earthquakes...oh, my!

Seriously. There were moments yesterday when I NEVER thought I'd get here. After two flight cancellations, I was now scheduled to leave at one. So there I was, leaning into the front seat of my car to haul out my luggage...and I was all WTF??? Why is someone bouncing my car up and down? (Literally, I thought I'd look up to find some big ol' thug messing with me.) But when I looked around, I was completely alone. Not another human in sight. Yet my car was still jumping all over the place.

Aha. Earthquake.

By the time I hopped on the shuttle, I'd accessed CNN news on my cell phone (thanks, Marty--for teaching me how to do that!) so I knew the what's and where's. All a seasoned earthquake person needs to know is the magnitude and the epicenter, so I was good.

Arrived at the terminal to discover my flight (though not cancelled!) was delayed until 2:15, so I holed up at the bar and watched the nonstop coverage of that bottle of mayo that spilled in Chino Hills. Fascinating.

Anyway, bottom line, I made it. More stories to follow!

Monday, July 28, 2008

One For The Road

Hey, contract number eighteen came in today! Squuuueeee! Which, y'know, kinda made up for the rejection on something else that came in the mail with it.

Well, um. Not really.

Sigh.

Guess that's why I'm off to the RWA National conference tomorrow, huh? Maybe something'll click, and I'll discover what I'm doing right in the short stories that I'm doing wrong in the long.

Oh, that rhymed.

Maybe POETRY'S my niche.

Thanks, Gas Crunch

So much for precision-timed coordination!

United Airlines just canceled my flight for tomorrow. Which means I arrive at noon instead of 9:30. Which means I can't meet Brooke at Gate 68. Which means we can't share a cab. Which means I have to take the shuttle. Which means...argh. Hope this isn't foreshadowing!

In other conference-related news, my 85-year old dad gave me fashion tips today based on careful viewing of the "stock market ladies on TV." For those of you in need of advice, he recommends a jacket with one of those "things that go across" underneath.

Why do I have a sudden overwhelming urge to go shopping?

Proof That National Starts On Wednesday

My email volume dropped to snooze level over the weekend. Something tells me that instead of sitting in front of their computers, the romance writing community is busy with last-minute laundry, stuffing suitcases, and leaving frantic instructions with husbands on how to feed the children.

'Course that's not the case here at Randy Central. I haven't done laundry yet, haven't decided what clothes I'm taking, and can barely remember which airline to show up at tomorrow morning.

What? Me worry?

I'm pitchless, remember?

Yep, hands steady enough to serve hot coffee at 20,000 feet without spilling a drop (y'know...if I were so inclined.)

And the fact that I'm up an hour early this morning should in no way be construed as evidence that I'm indeed getting a tad jumpy.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Pitch-Free In Frisco

It's that time of year again! Come Tuesday morning, I'm bound for the City By The Bay--which means that all you marauding thieves and hooligans should remember the starving pit bull behind my front door...and the strategically-placed land mines. If all else fails, my Karma will hunt you down and exact its price 'cuz, y'now, that's the way Karma works.

Anyway, I can't wait! First of all, it's 100 degrees in Southern California today, so I'm looking forward to literally CHILLING in San Francisco. (Note to self: pack a sweater and, um, perhaps a Parka, not to mention long underwear and mittens.)

Secondly, I'm stoked about going commando in the pitch department. That's right, I didn't cave! I don't care if I'm not getting all the bang for my buck that I can. I'm gonna enjoy this conference, dammit. So is my heart...and my nervous system...and my blood pressure.

On the other hand, one of my trusty CP's and fellow-conference goers claims that to make up for this indulgence, we must schmooze schmooze schmooze. I hate to break it to her that the same genes responsible for in-person pitching are the ones necessary for schmoozing. Oh, well. She'll find out soon enough.

I suck at schmoozing too!

But I don't care. I'm gonna have fun...and maybe even learn a thing or two. (Second note to self: late nights and alcohol do not mix well with early morning workshops.)

Uh-oh. Blogger has a scheduled time out (was it a bad blogger??) in four minutes. Better post quick!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Can't Help It











...another one. (Okay, lesson learned. I didn't resize this for quick loading...does it look better? I think so.)

Browsing...











Was looking for something and came across one of my all-time favorite pictures of Puerto Vallarta at sunset. I had to scan it from (gasp) a regular old-fashioned print, so I suppose the quality's not so hot, but I still love it. FYI, I took it from a place called El Set...which you might reasonably assume refers to, er, sunsets, but noooooo..instead, the name was inspired by the year that Richard Burton and Liz Taylor, in the throes of their burgeoning love affair, shot "Night Of The Iguana" at nearby Mismaloya.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Cha-Ching Seventeen!

I kinda like the sound of that, don't you? And by now y'all know what it means, right? Yep. Got a contract from True Romance for my seventeenth sale. My tentative title was "How a One-Eyed Collie Brought Love Into Our Lives" or something SERIOUSLY lame like that. As always, the title will morph into something entirely different by the time the magazine rolls out in late September (it's the October issue).

So squee and all that...more cash for the gambling fund.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Dear Time-Warner...

Your service sucks.

And y’see, last week, I was ready to forgive and forget all your past transgressions. I even toyed with the notion of (gasp!) sending you more money each month in return for DVR.

Thank God, cooler heads prevailed.

‘Cuz you really pissed me off this weekend, what with the way you kept making the TV picture freeze, then turning the monitor off altogether. I mean, I was RIGHT in the middle of that story about the girl whose kidnapper chained her to the rafters in his underground bunker…then I was RIGHT in the middle of that reality show about the Canadian outfit that “stages” ritzy homes before they go on the market for sale.

I’m tellin’ ya, guys. The frustration. The bitterness. The why-do-I-pay-$100-a-month-for-this-crappy-service blues…

And while we’re at it, could you please have a word with your co-conspirator, HBO?? I mean, do you think they could bring themselves to air a show made in, say, this millennium? Trust me, I’ve seen The Truth About Cats and Dogs, and I didn’t manage to miss Galaxy Quest the first 100 times you ran it.

Best,

Randy

Friday, July 18, 2008

Paying Attention On The Job

The following is a true story. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent, however literary license has been taken to…y’know…make the action a tad more interesting.

Travel back with me to yesterday where I’m standing in Barry’s office, studying the confusion on his face.

Barry: The State Board says we underpaid the sales tax last quarter.

Randy: Hm. Imagine that.

Barry: I can’t figure out what I did.

Making my way over to his side, I peer over his shoulder at the return while he points at two figures.

Barry: See, those are the first and second pre-payments right there but the amounts don’t seem right.

Randy: Let’s look at the check register.

He digs out the notebook where he keeps a record of manually-written checks. The information is in the following format: Date, Check Number, Payee, Amount.

Randy (after some thought): Very clever. Instead of paying the AMOUNTS, you paid the CHECK NUMBERS. Nice rounding, though.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

But Will It Work Again?

Y'all know that here at Randy Writes Romance, we're forever in search of tools that will speed up production, tighten up prose, and/or render writing less agonizing. So last night, I finally tried something I've seen mentioned over and over.

Yes, I set a timer.

I hauled up the ugliest kitchen timer you've ever seen--it's in the shape of a head of garlic--from downstairs and cranked it to fifteen minutes.

Then I began to write.

And I didn't stop until the garlic went ding.

Hm. So far, so good. I'd written nearly two pages. To reward myself, I played a game of Spider Solitaire, then set the timer again for another fifteen minutes.

And I didn't stop until the garlic went ding again.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

Well! Do you believe I wrote 12-1/2 pages last night? I mean, we're talking NaNoWriMo output levels!

Ah, but now to test the durability of this method. Will the novelty wear off tonight? Maybe so. I'll report in tomorrow.

Meanwhile, to see Sexy Sascha diss reality shows starring alleged female celebs, click here!

Friday, July 11, 2008

The Waiting Game

Watch this.

Based on my experience, it can take up to a year to get an answer from an agent. Hypothetically speaking, assume--praise God--I get a positive response. It could take yet another year to get a yay from an editor. After that, another year or two elapses before the masterpiece hits the shelves.

It's a wonder more books don't have that "stale" taste to them.

Just sayin'.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Are Ya Kiddin' Me?

My morning blog tour took me here via Diana Peterfreund's entry from yesterday. If you scroll down on that first link, you'll come upon Cover Cafe's dubious winner for "Worst Cover of the Year." Well, folks...I submit you can add "Worst Title Of the Year" to the list of accolades this book's likely to garner. And in case you're too busy, too lazy, or too disinterested to click over, let me just spoil the surprise: the title is "Big Spankable Asses." It's an anthology of three novellas, and it's an honest-to-god book. Y'know. Like one you can hold in your hand. Pictured on the cover is a woman sporting a white teddy lifted to reveal the right butt cheek (is butt cheek one word, or two?), and a garter belt on her left thigh. Apparently, the theme that ties the three stories together is that each heroine is looking for a man who knows the meaning of BSA (hence, the title). Little House On The Prairie, this ain't.

I'm not here to bash authors. This could be a perfectly enjoyable book...but, um...well, like they say, any publicity is GOOD publicity, right? If so, I guess I just did my part to promote "Big Spankable Asses."

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

News At Eleven


Was just shutting down my computer last night when I heard the ding of incoming email. Strange, I thought. Nobody emails me this late at night.

To my surprise, it wasn't a digest email. It wasn't even a penis enlargement ad.

It was...drum roll, please...a notice announcing that the Christmas anthology book for which I submitted and sold a story is finally here! And with a byline for yours truly (not to mention a nice cover quote from Paul Harvey). Neat-o, huh?

Not that I make a dime off sales, but hey--it's available for pre-order from all the usual on-line suspects in case your interested. And apparently the release date is September. Or maybe October. Depending on which site you believe. Will it be available in bookstores? Beats me!

But if you wanna find out why my dad always disappeared on Christmas Eve, buy the book.

Okay, I can't leave it that--I don't want my blogreaders thinking I had a deadbeat dad or anything...he disappeared because he was changing into his Santa suit!

Monday, July 07, 2008

I'll See Your Big-Ass Flag and Raise It (ha, pun intended)


Cruise In A Nutshell


...not to be confused with "Norway In A Nutshell," which is actually a cool, cool, tour you can take from Bergen to Oslo (or the reverse) via train, motorcoach, boat, another train, then yet another train.

Anyhoo, so yeah. Went on a 3-day cruise for the 4th of July BY MYSELF (cue Celine). Must be the only time it's ever happened in the history of Carnival Cruise Lines because one after the other--clerks, bartenders, you-name-it--upon hearing my response that no, I was traveling alone, practically gave me a high five. "Good for you!" "Atta girl!" "No, really? That's great!"

I was, therefore, delighted to meet Stephanie, a 23-year old beauty of Puerto Rican/Asian mix. Her father (the Asian part), doesn't approve of her boyfriend (a German), so he's taken to sending her on vacations in the hope she'll fall for another man. Nice. Thanks, Dad.

I was LESS delighted to meet Paul--American citizen but of Indian decent, who looked a bit like a taller version of Danny DeVito and who apparently subscribes to the theory one should consume maximum amounts of alcohol to get the true cruise experience. Poor Stephanie. She handled him well (maybe that black belt in karate she holds helped out.)

So, alas...can't say this was a very eventful cruise. On Saturday morning, we docked in Ensenada (which, as you know, I've been to a million times). To stretch my legs, I got off the ship, walked into town, then turned around, and walked back. How exciting. Next, I purchased a margarita and sat back to do some people watching. You know it's bad when the antics of 2-year old twins capture your attention for thirty minutes.

On Sunday, our "day at sea," I was all primed for a solid day of sunbathing. Even took it easy on the cocktails and went to sleep relatively early the night before. Only one problem. No sun. In fact, it was downright chilly and since I'd brought nothing warmer than cap sleeves, I couldn't even sit on deck.

Which...y'know...translated into an AWFUL LOT OF TIME at the casino. Unfortunately, this being an older ship, "casino" is really putting it politely. Oh, there were a slew of slots and the usual table games but even I got bored with playing the same machines over and over and over.

On the bright side, I have to say that the Carnival Paradise is really nice. For these shorter itineraries, the cruise lines use ships they've put out to pasture and it's true that the 7-day ships are bigger, sleeker, have more balcony rooms, and so forth, but still...the Paradise's layout is convenient, it's well-kept up, and it's just the right size. Oh AND, even though it was sold out, it didn't feel too crowded.

As a bonus, they've got embarkation and debarkation down to a science. Took me less than a 1/2 hour to board, and this morning, I was off by 7:15. (Unheard of in the old days!!)

All in all...a satisfactory trip with no drama, no surprises. Sometimes, that's as much as you can ask for!

P.S. I took the picture with my cell phone. In case you can't tell, those are the glass elevators rising from the Atrium Lobby.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Happy Fourth!

As the clock ticks down on the eve of a holiday weekend, I'm reminded that the 4th isn't just about taking off on a 3-day cruise (well, of course, that's part of it, but still)...and it's not just about getting together with friends or relatives to scarf down hot dogs and swig back plastic cups filled with ale...it's about the sacrifice made by our ancestors to give us freedom.

In this time of turmoil and uncertainty, let's all take a moment to remember...and to re-affirm our faith in the greatest country on earth.

Our flag...long may she wave.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Seriously??

Breaking news. Now you too can dress in the manner of a woman controlled by a paternalistic whacko. Yes, folks. Granny gowns in lovely pastels are just a click away.

One question: Where do I go for the 40's coif?

Y'know...cuz when I'm in style, I like to go whole hog.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Good Intentions

Was gonna eat healthy last night. I actually went so far as to haul out a box of instant brown rice, and I planned to steam some raw carrots in the microwave.

Only one problem.

I didn't have a pot with a matching lid.

Yes, I am QUITE the domestic goddess.