Yum

First, the bad news. Not ONE celebrity saw fit to dine at Nobu Malibu last night. Well, except for yours truly, of course. (Y’know, the famous romance novelist.) I did see several social X-rays though (hat’s off to Tom Wolfe for the label). Wish I could have seen what they ordered. Or didn’t.

So, back to me and Blogreader Joe. Talk about a couple of rookies. During the week, we’d both perused the on-line menu (studying up, as it were) and we both had a hankering for the salmon. Only one problem. No salmon on the real, in-person menu. Chilean sea bass, yes. Salmon, no. Guess we were looking at the menu of Chef Nobu Matsushita’s sister restaurants.

When the waiter asked if we had questions, Joe said: “If I were a salmon, where would I be?”

“You’d be sashimi, sushi, or the artic char.”

Huh? I checked my menu. Sure enough, something called artic char−not to be confused with ARCTIC char (as I kept pointing out to Blogreader Joe.) Well, I just googled it and, apparently, the typo’s on them ‘cuz google gave me one of those “DID YOU MEAN ARCTIC CHAR?” comments. Anyway, arctic char is some relation to the salmon family and that was close enough for me. Blogreader Joe inquired about the whole fish and when told it was snapper figured that was good enough for him.

Meanwhile, we munched on endemame and thank God I knew enough not to pop the whole pod in my mouth−and this is pretty much where my Japanese food-eating hipness ended…because, minutes later a plate arrived looking much like a salad. Except we hadn’t ordered a salad; we’d ordered yellow-tail sushi. Okay, maybe the sushi comes after salad, we thought.

Now, I’m no food critic−and I’m even less a cook−so please forgive me for the lame descriptions I’m about to impart. But, Oh. My. God. Whatever this green stuff was−um−I hadn’t tasted anything like it before. I saw Blogreader Joe digging around beneath it, unearthing what I naively presumed was some sort of garlic bread (uh, HELLO−we’re in a Japanese restaurant!) and what did he discover? My salmon. We’re eating my entrée, not a salad.

Ah. Guess that’s what they meant by ‘family style dining.’ Anyway, now my memory kicked in−the salmon was served on a bed of pan-fried crispy spinach (eek! E.coli!) but that description doesn’t begin to do it justice. What can I say? You’ll just have to go there and try it yourself.

Next the whole fish arrived. (Where’s that sushi?) Now, Blogreader Joe LOVES whole fish−y’know, head and all−and usually they arrive as big ol’ ugly things lying limp on a plate…or even a platter. Not this one. First, it was relatively small−maybe 9” in length−and it was all primped and posed kinda like in mid-flip. Blogreader Joe had warned me he was hungry so I knew right away I wouldn’t be getting much of HIS entrée. I contented myself with stealing all the vegetables surrounding it and man, where they good. Again. I know. Lame. I need my friend Andi, the caterer, to go there, taste the food, and tell me what the spices are.

About ten minutes later, the only thing on Blogreader Joe’s plate was a very sad-looking skeleton. I was dying to take a picture of it, but good manners kept the camera in my purse.

That’s when the sushi arrived. Turns out the Japanese eat it last−after the hot stuff. Who knew?

We wrapped things up with caramel cheesecake. Again. Oh. My. God. Cheesecake with a thick layer of caramel on top. What could be better than that???

So it’s back to the Jenny Craig menu today…and not an artic char or caramel cheesecake in sight.