Monday, September 10, 2007

The Countdown Has Begun!

Yes, faithful blogreaders, it's that time of year. Time to count down the days to my birthday! In case you haven't got a calendar, allow me to remind you there are only 6 or 7 shopping days (depending on how you count) until the Big Day! And, to aid you in your search for the appropriate gift, I've thoughtfully provided a list of stuff I need.

1. New car (only, it doesn't have to be BRAND new--a USED Mercedes will do).
2. New laptop (with the wireless internet thingy, please!)
3. New camcorder (you really don't want me lugging around the relic I currently own, do you? So gauche!)
4. New gowns for the October cruise (er, you may wanna go ahead and get them in a size 10--sadly, I don't think I'll be back down to an 8 in time)
5. Ipod (please do the research and take your best shot)
6. 1000 shares of Google stock--the gift that keeps on giving
7. Big ol' plasma screen TV--the better to watch all my reality shows on
8. Okay, if you're REALLY stymied and ya gotta few bucks to spare, how about a small yacht for the beach house I'm renovating? Something in the forty-foot vicinity would be nice...
9. Vacation vouchers are ALWAYS appreciated--especially if they include first class airline tickets and rooms at the Ritz Carlton. (Just sayin')
10. Lastly, since I hate to be a pain in the wallet...I offer this cash-free publishing contract?

I really ask for so little from life.

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