14 Bridesmaids, 600 Guests

Need I say more about this recipe for disaster? Too bad. I’m gonna.

In case you haven’t watched TV, read a newspaper, or had the radio on in the last five days (and if so, what the hell have YOU been doing), the topic du jour is Jennifer Wilbanks, the runaway bride.

Let me provide a timeline of my own personal experience:

10:00p.m.--I go to bed and catch a little of the Abrams Report on MSNBC where they incite oohs and ahs with the dispute between the husband and the police over whether the second polygraph exam should be videotaped. Hmm, I think. Another Scott Peterson in the making? (Which is just what I'm supposed to think.)

2:00a.m.—I happen to wake up and reach for the remote. Breaking News. Jennifer is alive and in Albuquerque, New Mexico! Now, I’m all for a little jubilation in the middle of the night, so I watch the coverage for about an hour. She was abducted, we’re told, and possibly sexually molested by a man and woman in a blue van. CNN gets the family on the phone and I hear interviews with the stepbrother, the co-worker, and a bridesmaid. Every couple of minutes I hear a round of joyful cheers in the background.

4:00a.m.—I wake up again and wonder if the news stations could possibly have stretched this story another two hours, so I switch the TV back on. Uh-oh. More breaking news. Turns out Jennifer has admitted to being a runaway bride with cold feet. The news anchors (a male and female) debate the significance of her admission. The female seems a little pissed while the male stresses that at one point early on the police conceded they hadn’t ruled out the runaway bride scenario. They report that the family’s mood has gone from jubilation to solemn and I think....hm, the first version was a cause for celebration. That’s the version where Jennifer had no responsibility for their agony and pain—sure, she was violently abducted, maybe even sexually abused, but, hey—she’s okay and it wasn’t her fault. Yay. But now...now, it’s another story. Now, the family knows she willfully put them through hell. Yes, she’s alive, and they’re grateful, but...well, Lucy, I think you’ve got some ‘splaining to do.

8:00a.m.—What could the latest twist be? I turn on CNN and see a criminal profiler (A CRIMINAL PROFILER!) being interviewed, and she is one pissed off dame. Jennifer is a narcissist who planned the whole thing for attention, she proclaims. (I’m thinking, attention? Eight bridal showers and a 600-guest wedding isn’t enough? But, I see her point. Maybe amidst all the hoopla, the wedding itself was getting all the attention, leaving poor Jen feeling like a bystander at her own big event. Who knows?) At any rate, the criminal profiler reminds us that the next time a woman like Jen goes missing, municipalities and communities will be a little less reluctant to commit their resources. Sorta like after Susan Smith drowned her children.

Next, I see the couple’s pastor interviewed. He’s been counseling them for three months and hasn’t seen a hint of trouble. His closing words: A day ago, Jennifer’s family and friends prayed this was just a case of a runaway bride...and they’re prayers were answered.

Still...This story will be debated for days to come.

Did the media blow it out of proportion?
Was Jennifer truly clueless (as she claims) about how big the story got?
And, if so, so what? She’s 33-years old, for God’s sake, not 20. How could she put her friends and family through that kind of hell?
Did she have some sort of psychotic break?

See, to me, it all comes back to the 14 bridesmaids. When you pick fourteen women to share one of the most important moments of your life, something is wrong. Very wrong.