The Second Time Around

With all the death and funeral coverage in the past few weeks--Terri Schiavo, Pope John Paul, and Johnny Cochran (who I mention only because rumor has it his ceremonial farewell took longer than the papal one)--I can’t stress enough how pleasant it was to wake up to a royal wedding this morning.


Mind you, I didn’t make a point of tuning in on Chuck and Cam—it’s just that ever since 911, I check with CNN first thing in the morning to make sure the world is still available and worth getting up for.


So, there they were—smiling, shaking hands with the common folk, even boarding a touristy motor coach—I mean how much more plebian can you get?


Camilla looked lovely in her two outfits (one for the civil ceremony; one for the religious). First, she wore a winter white suit a la Nancy Reagan and a gorgeous hat. Then she changed into an elegant but bland gown with a bird’s nest atop her head. I must admit I found the second hat extremely distracting because I focused more on what in the world could have possessed her to wear it, but when I figured it out, I was able to move on. (Take a look at her husband’s comb-over and you’ll see what I mean; Camilla had her very own to match her husband’s—how’s that for loyalty?)


There was a particularly squirmy moment during the blessing of the marriage. Both were asked (paraphrasing here) if they were resolved to remain faithful to their spouse, forsaking all others.


Answer: It is my resolve to be faithful with the help of God.


Okay, in other words: It’s my intention, but don’t hold me to it, and if I fail let’s blame God, shall we?


In spite of what the commentators said, Princes Harry and Wills actually seemed to enjoy the day and might even be mature enough to want their father’s happiness. It’s said they get along well with Camilla’s children, so let’s hope the royal family’s dysfunction has reached an all-time ebb.


And all that pre-ceremony hoopla about the Queen not attending the wedding? How come the media forgot to tell us she’d be at the blessing of the union? Huh?


I must say, I don’t quite “get” the whole royalty thing in this day and age. All that bowing and scraping to people who do little more than lend their name to charity still mystifies me. But something in me clings to tradition too, and in a world where there ain’t much of that left, I guess a Windsor family wedding will have to suffice.


So, my wish for the happy couple is that the Queen keep her meddling to a minimum, and the British tabs keep mum (no pun intended) with their salacious stories.


That is, at least until Chuck and Cam announce their choice for the surrogate mother of their love child. Now, that I wanna read about.