Monday, January 09, 2006

R-R-R-R-inging in the New Year

...with my first rejection of 2006. Yay me.

Before you start shedding tears, this was NOT the big one (also known as the longshot-full-requested-by-an-unnamed-publishing-house). No...that bad news is yet to come. I know. I know. Sending positive vibes to the stratosphere is probably a more productive strategy. I promise to start trying that.

Anyway, today's rejection was in response to my "new and improved" query letter for Stealing Amy. The agent who said ix-nay on this project requested the first chapter on the last one so I was hoping for a repeat performance, but naaaah.

I keep thinking Stealing Amy may be the bastard child in my repertoire of finished manuscripts. And then I think, but wait--won't that make a good story when it's the one that sells? Ha. (See? I CAN think positive...or, maybe fantasize is the more accurate word.)

Well, I hauled out (read: clicked on File Open) my chart of submissions, and guess what? Unless I forgot to record them all (which, with my disorganized nature is ENTIRELY possible) I've only queried FOUR agents for Amy. Now, that's just pathetic. Anyone will tell you the odds of getting a favorable result are pretty meager on just four submissions.

Hm. I smell a New Year's Resolution coming on.

In the meantime, since I'm feeling adventurous (not to mention mildly nauseous and dizzy from this weekend's tour of flu-ville) I thought I'd post, for your entertainment, the meat of the new query letter. See what you think.
Sometimes you have to lose something in order to appreciate its value.

Tell that to AMY HARRINGTON who can’t believe her pathetic life’s been hijacked by an identity thief. Not that she’s necessarily anxious to reclaim her sorry existence, but getting arrested for crimes she didn’t commit turns into a major inconvenience, so she adopts the thief’s name and follows her to Mexico.

Along the way, Amy meets architect NICK CAVENAUGH who’s got identity issues of his own. Seems some friend (some friend!) stole his company and his fiancee. Now Nick's headed for a swank Mexican resort to secure a lucrative contract to jumpstart his new firm, only his assistant misses the trip and absentminded Nick’s not so reliable on his own.

Far be it from Amy to jeopardize the man’s second chance at success, but when she discovers her quarry has moved on to the same swank resort--which she can’t (
ahem) currently afford--who can blame her for wangling a temporary job with the guy? So what if she doesn’t exactly come clean about her real name, who she’s after, or why she’s really in Mexico? What Nick doesn’t know can’t hurt him...can it?

In the end, when Nick succeeds in Stealing Amy’s heart, she learns that if you love someone—especially yourself--no one can steal what you’re not willing to give.

O-bla-di, O-bla-da and blah, blah, blah.

Okay, that last part (not the o-bla-di nonsense, but the paragraph before) needs some work. What I wanna say, without it becoming cumbersome, is: a) no one can steal who you are at the core, and b) that love is about giving away that core willingly.

Do I have any volunteers? First prize is a mention in the thank you's when it sells. Hahahahahahahaa.

(Go for it, John.)


John said...

You really gonna say b-bla-di and such?

It would help to be able to read the story, say past the plane trip and first parting.

That aside - she learns that

...when it comes to love, what you give freely can never be stolen. is an investment; you only get a return if you spend it.

...if you love someone, the worst of situations provide the happiest of resolutions. is like a cup of coffee, you have to drink it all down before it gets cold. may not make the world go round, but it does help you get though the day. has three letters, love four letters, commitment ten letters; which lasts the longest? is placing the darkest corners of your heart in the hands of another, and knowing you are safe. is like bacon, nothing tastes better than when it is crisp and hot, and nothing tastes worse than when it is limp and cold.

...his breath on your cheek when he is asleep, giving you warmth and a chill in concert.

…love is like a heart attack; it can strike any time without warning.

…to let her heart steer the way, and her brain run the gas petal.

Yes, I made them all up, so you can use one (yeah, right) without stealing.

If this comes out twice, it isn't my fault. The first time it said I got the verification wrong.

randy said...

Argh. I wrote a long post in response to John's suggestions and related some that came in through my crit group, but Blogger ate the whole damn thing. I think I'll turn most of it into a regular entry.

John--thanks for the lessons on love! LOL

Actually, I think your first line encapsulates best what I meant to say--I may have to appropriate some of it (grin). I daresay, you were in a whimsical mood last night????

John said...

The first one was to answer your request, the rest were just because.

Anonymous said...

i thought Nick's identity issues would be psychological

randy said...

Sigh. See how hard it is to cram everything into a query letter? Yes, Nick's issues are psychological--they form his internal motivation and conflict. Without giving too much away here (cuz y'all will just have to buy the book ha ha), Nick's desire to salvage his career is tied in with his internal desire to regain the self-respect he lost when he "let" his best friend/partner walk away with his company. This time, he vows, he's a solo act whose success or failure will be his and his alone. But then...blah, blah, blah, stuff happens...and he finds himself in a position where with Amy's help he's almost guaranteed the job; without her help he's almost gauranteed to lose it. Throw in the fact that his competition is the ex-partner, and he now faces a real dilemma. Does he let Amy help (in order to "beat" the ex-partner)? Or, does he stick to his guns and go it alone?