Friday, January 25, 2008

Quit Laughing At Us

Okay, I know folks to the north, east, and south find our rainstorms a big snooze, but I just have to blog about ‘em. Sorry. Next time you guys have an earthquake, I’ll listen. Promise.

Because you just have to laugh at what went on last night. Picture this: I’m driving home from my parents on the infamous 101, eyes peeled for those invisible lakes that have the power to catapult a car into instant spinville. Already, some weird dashboard light has blinked on and off—announcing, I guess, that my anti-skid system is in fine shape and ready to do battle.

Luckily, everyone’s slowed to about 35 mph—a safe and sane way to drive on roads that haven’t seen significant moisture in over a year (thereby allowing a treacherous amount of goo to accumulate).

Anyway, so I’m relatively relaxed. And then the alert blares from the radio. At first, I think yeah, yeah, yeah…flash flood warning. What else is new? Unless you’re one of the homeless living in the Ventura River bed, nothing to worry about.

But, wait. What’s this? Something new??


Yes, last night southern California went on tornado watch which turned out to be an occasion fraught with amusing possibilities.

By the time I got home, it was all over the TV. A constant banner running along the bottom of Celebrity Apprentice. Here’s the gist of what it said: “Five miles south southwest of Malibu, a cell was spotted with rotation capability. The cities of Pacific Palisades and Malibu should be on alert for tornadoes until 9:30p.m.” (Here’s the really good part): “If you are in a mobile home” mobile home?? In Malibu?? (Okay, to be honest, there IS a mobile home park right on the beach), “evacuate. If you are in a home, go to the basement” (basement? What do they think this is, Kansas?). “If you are in car, find a ditch to lie in” (right—I’m picturing Courtney Cox, Mel Gibson, and the rest of the Malibu clan, driving home from a night of cocktails in the city, suddenly abandoning their Mercedes on PCH and diving for a ditch—see what I mean about this being an amusing event?).

But the best part? We’re talking THE BURN AREA. (Y’know, from those firestorms we had in November.) Something tells me that taking cover in a low-lying ditch when we’re also on FLASH FLOOD ALERT ain’t the best option.


As it turns out, the tornado never happened. Well, not in Malibu anyway. But something called a tornado or a waterspout (depending on who you listen to) tore off the roof of a hangar in Pt. Mugu, so I guess that’s something.

The storm coming in tomorrow is supposed to be even stronger, so there’s hope for additional excitement.

Stay tuned for more snickering.

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