Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Confessions of a Former Sports Fan

I liked it better when athletes didn’t have entourages
I liked it better when Chick Hearn broadcast for the Lakers
I liked it better when tennis players had personalities
I liked it better when rivalry was about respect instead of trash talk
I liked it better when performance-enhancing drugs didn’t explain a player’s sudden improvement in stats
I liked it better when teams stayed together and players spent their entire careers in one city
I liked it better when they didn’t televise every game, so you had to listen on the radio and use your imagination
I liked it better when you didn’t have to mortgage your house to take a family of four to a game
I liked it better when Jim Murray wrote for the L.A. Times
I liked it better when I could pronounce basketball players’ names—not because I object to foreigners, but because they’d be better off playing in their home countries
I liked it better when it was about winning, not money
I liked it better when basketball stars didn’t have record deals
I liked it better when winning was about team work instead of ego
I liked it better when tennis players wore all white
I liked it better when there was an even playing field for baseball players
I liked it better when the U.S. basketball team won the gold at the Olympics
I liked it better when basketball players’ shorts didn’t hang to their knees
I liked it better when they didn’t have to put asterisks next to sports records
I liked it better when medals didn’t have to be returned
I liked it better when kids finished college before entering professional sports
I liked it better when stadiums didn’t have sky boxes and fast food chains

I liked it better when kids played without interference from parents…and maybe that’s where it all went wrong.

Okay, take your best shot. What have I missed?

2 comments:

Revland said...

I liked it better when the police blotter didn't read like a sports page.
I liked it better when they sold beer after the 7th inning.
I liked it better when the Cubs didn't have lights.
I like it better when athletes weren't doing ads for Viagara.
I liked it better when NBA players didn't have six different mothers for their 8 children.
I liked it better when Boy Bands didn't play at halftime shows.

randy said...

Ha! Well said. I knew you'd come up with stuff I missed.