IT likes to lull me into thinking I’ll be able to lose weight before important events and, like a fool, I fall for ITS treachery every time. ITS most potent weapon is unpredictability. Take last year. Two months before a Caribbean cruise, IT allowed me to shun French fries with Ranch dressing, drink only rum and diet coke, and sent me to the gym four times a week. Voila! Success! I lost ten pounds in the allotted time. Maybe, I’d finally tamed the sucker.
But, no. IT was only lurking. Licking ITS chops, waiting for the holidays. As I felt IT consuming my life again, I did the only thing possible. I booked another vacation for March. Surely, that would chase IT back into submission.
This morning, I committed to grabbing cereal for breakfast at work. Uh-oh. Forgot to bring the milk. Strike one. UH-OH. A fellow employee brought in a 2-lb. bag of tortilla strips and a jar of salsa. My favorite brand. Strike two.
So far, I’ve eaten half the bag. Strike three.
Score: Evil Willpower Gene—1; Randy--0
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