Dating

Click here to check out Susan McBride’s August 14th post on The Lipstick Chronicles (including input by yours truly on the subject of dating).

Speaking of which…I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve already exhausted my allotment for the current century. I mean, it’s been two, er, years. Two and a half, to be precise, but who’s counting….

Okay, let's be honest; I’m a bit picky. Here’s what a guy has to have:

1. His teeth (preferably the original ones)

2. A job that doesn’t require the Karen Silkwood scrubdown when he gets home from work

3. Relatives that he actually speaks to and sees on occasion

4. Working knowledge of the female anatomy (and I’m not talking about readily visible parts, like boobs)

5. Modern transportation (don’t laugh; a friend of mine dated a guy who road a bike—as in bicycle) and while we’re at it, the description of said modern transportation should in no way incorporate the words “muscle,” “cherry,” or “souped up”

6. Suitable living accommodations; (no boarding houses, no “in between situations, can I crash at your place for awhile”)

7. The absence of psycho bitch leftovers who haven’t gotten over the way the bastard dumped them

8. Clothes purchased this millennium and from somewhere other than Target

9. Hands-on experience with plumbing, electricity, automobiles, carpentry, wallpapering, tiling, electronics, and cosmetic surgery

10. A vocabulary that contains phrases like: “Oh no, let me pay,” “you look so much younger/thinner/prettier than your friends,” and “I’m really into monogamy”

See? Not so demanding, after all. Makes me wonder why I haven’t found anyone lately.