Brokeback Technology

Oh, I thought I was soooo clever.

Academy Awards. Sunday, March 5th. All my life, the Oscars have been must-see TV…the glamour, the suspense, those unpredictable moments that have everybody talking the next day…I love it all! So I purposefully scheduled my return flight from Vegas to get me into Burbank around 5:30 (thinking the awards didn’t start until about 6:00). Even MORE cleverly, I packed a rarely-used bag that, if crammed properly, holds a ton of stuff yet hoists rather easily into the overhead bin. That way, no annoying wait at baggage claim. I’d be able to rush right home. Perfect plan.

So I head off to the airport on Friday. My first mistake? That rarely-used bag that doesn’t roll. Ohmigod. It’s sooooo friggin’ heavy. Plus, I swear it used to have a shoulder strap, didn’t it? Ever industrious, I remove the strap from my videocam bag and switch it to the garment bag. Does it help? Not much. And now I’m carrying the camera bag like it’s a cute little purse, which it is not.

Flash forward.

I’m waiting in the Vegas airport and learn the awards begin an hour earlier this year. Grrrrr. There goes the whole opening monologue (which, let’s face it, is usually the highlight).

Okay, so I rush off the plane, lug my stupid bag to the shuttle, collect my car, and race home. I nuke a lean cuisine and settle in to watch just in time to see the pimp song performed and its subsequent win. (Now, THERE was a proud Oscar moment, huh? I’m picturing the conversation between my parents and wondering how quick it took them to change channels.)

Anyway, at the commercial, I realize there’s only about a half hour left of the show. All the really good awards (apart from the supporting roles) are coming up. (Maybe this is the way to watch the awards in the future?) I decide to run upstairs and watch the rest in bed. I turn off the lights, climb between the covers, and turn on the TV. Thirty seconds later the TV clicks off. All by itself. For a moment, I’m perplexed. Is my TV broken? Has my remote suffered some strange battery snafu? I try clicking it back on. Nothing.

Then I realize.

The power is out.

It stays out.

Throughout the rest of the show and the major awards.

I am seriously pissed.

P.S. In case you're new, click here for comments on last year's awards (hey, it's the best I can do, under the circumstances.)