You just knew that unexpected windfall was burning a hole in my bank account, right? So this morning, I’m lying in bed, thinking of ways to blow, er, I mean, spend it. Oh sure, I could put it toward that desk I’ve been meaning to buy, but where’s the fun in that? I’d have to order it or get someone with a truck to go pick it up, bring it home, assemble it…too much hassle, not enough instant gratification.

Then, I thought of something. A new flat screen computer monitor! Yes, I could do that by myself!

Now, I’m way too lazy to do major research before an electronics purchase. All I really need to know is if it'll look good on my desk. After that, I figure they're all pretty much the same unless you're some kinda geek who can tell the difference between resolutions, pixels and all that other tech talk. Besides, whatever I choose will be obsolete by…what…next Tuesday?

So off I went to Best Buys. For some reason, no one seemed interested in helping me—even though I had a huge shopping cart. I mean, HELLO! Here to BUY, fellas! Long story short, I wound up with a Sony 17 incher (the 19” ones looked waaaaay to gargantuous—just more to get used to) and I successfully hooked it up about five minutes ago.

Um…everything looks lovely…except the print!!! Help?!? What do I do? It looks vaguely fuzzy and I’m not sure this is something my eyes are gonna adjust to. ‘Course maybe I just need glasses that are both unscratched and clean. I hope.

Oh, well…the good news? I no longer have to sit sideways at my desk with the keypad hanging off the edge! I can put both feet on the ground! I can face everything head on! This has GOT to be better on my back!

And I’m sure, without a doubt, I will now be able to write scathingly brilliant novels.

That is, if I don’t go blind first.