Friday, April 14, 2006

Fun With Jamie

Remember when people waited until after five on Sunday to make a long distance call?

The Scene: Happy Hour at Islands Restaurant in Simi Valley
Present: Barry (brother), Polly (his wife), John and Jeremiah (father and son who work with us), and me.

Polly (holding cell phone up for my inspection): “What does it say?”

Me: “One missed call. Looks like Jamie. Call her later.”

Polly: “No, I’ll call her now.” (Waits for Jamie to answer, listens, then hands the phone to Barry). “She’s stuck in traffic and wants to know if it’s okay to drive on the shoulder.”

Barry (58-year old CEO to his 37-year-old daughter, mother of three, who holds a Masters in Education): "No, but here’s what you do. Pull over, raise the hood and look inside like something’s wrong with the radiator. Then shut the hood, get back in the car, and drive along the shoulder like you’re trying to merge.”

Thank God for cell phones, huh? This little episode got us to reminiscing about Jamie-isms. Here now, for your reading pleasure, are the best of the best.

Jamie Goes To College

Scene: San Diego State Lecture Hall. Jamie is sitting in the front row next to a girlfriend listening to a Professor speak about Eskimos. Suddenly there is silence.

Professor: Excuse me. You in the front row. You’ve been giggling for the past five minutes. What’s so funny about Eskimos?”

Jamie (rolling eyes): Like they’re real, and everything.

Jamie Solves A Crisis On The Homefront

Scene: Driveway of Jamie’s suburban home. Triple A arrives because she’s locked her keys in the car.

Jamie: Those are my husband’s keys in there. I’d use my set, but my son broke the remote.

Triple-A Guy (with puzzled look): You have a set of keys with a broken remote?

Jamie: Uh-huh.

Triple-A Guy: Let me see them.

Jamie hands keys to Triple A guy; He opens door, using the, er, key.

Jamie (grinning sheepishly): I bet this happens a lot, huh?”

Triple-A Guy: “Uh, no. Not really."

Jamie Goes To Work

Scene: Jamie is substitute teaching at her alma mater—the high school her younger brother Brian now attends (well, not NOW, this was years ago)

Jamie: Did you ever think we’d be at school together?

Brian: Yeah, but I thought it would be because they held you back.

Later that day, Jamie writes a note excusing Brian from his class so he can come teach Algebra II for her.

Jamie Takes A Road Trip

Scene: Jamie and a friend are driving from Baltimore to NYC. She calls me from her cell phone en route.

Me: “What’s the scenery like? Is it rural or urban?”

Jamie to friend (a fellow teacher): “Is rural the one with the trees?”

Good thing she's pretty, huh? Although I do wish she'd change her hair color from blonde to brunette.


Anonymous said...

You forgot the day Jamie had 'crown mouldings' installed in her family room. She was so worried they would fall down because the guy put them up with an 'air gun'! Yes, AIR she really didn't know the 'air gun' had nails in it! You also forgot to say she is just fine with all of us constantly rolling our eyes at her. She not only gives us such 'good material' she's a good sport about it,a great friend and wonderful Mommy.

John said...

You really are making this up, aren't you?

randy said...

Actually, we all have our strengths, don't we? She's a lot smarter than I make her out to be (or that she makes herself out to be, for that matter). Plus, she has a lot of love in her heart. That became clear to me when my parents had a horrible accident up north where Jamie lives. Both she and Jon were my rock, my strength, my lifeline. I'll never forget them for that, and I hope she forgives me for making fun of her here!