Signs, Signs, Everywhere A Sign

People who consult their daily horoscope before making a decision bring out the cynic in me. What—you can’t afford a shrink??

Historically, my disbelief stems from the litany of traits associated with Virgos (yep, that's my sign--oh, you couldn't tell?). Amidst the usual mumbo jumbo, the word “perfectionist” pops up--as in someone who’s anal about neatness. Trust me on this, people who know me cluck their tongues as if to say, well…there are exceptions to every rule…

But, to be honest, there’s a kernel of truth in whole perfectionist thing (hence today’s epiphany).

You see, I really AM a perfectionist—just not a proficient one. In other words, I strive for perfection, but fail miserably on account of I also happen to be exceedingly lazy—alas, too lazy for a competent perfectionist.

And, yanno what? My feeling is, if no one’s around to witness my perfection, why bother?

So, I had a party last night that took me two days to get ready for and all I had to do was provide the wine and dessert. Since I pay to have my house cleaned, little of the energy went toward sprucing up. Nope, it was the little things like making sure there was Kleenex in the downstairs bathroom…and that the candles were positioned just so…and that in case someone peeked in a cupboard, everything was neat and orderly (well, okay…so I sorta let that one go—proves my theory above).

Anyway, I DO try. Sometimes. I’m just not very good at it and, since the need doesn’t arise that often, I don’t get a lot of practice.

Having had the above rush of self-perception, I “googled” Virgo and here’s the first paragraph:

Virgo is the only zodiacal sign represented by a female. (Hm. Never thought of that—makes me feel special!) It is sometimes thought of as a potentially creative girl, delicately lovely; (ah, so true) sometimes as a somewhat older woman, intelligent but rather pedantic and spinsterish. (!!!!!!!) The latter impression is sometimes confirmed by the Virgoan preciseness, refinement, fastidious love of cleanliness, hygiene and good order, conventionality and aristocratic attitude of reserve. (Well…I dunno…you shoulda seen the leaves on my patio) They are usually observant, shrewd, critically inclined, judicious, patient, practical supporters of the status quo, and tend toward conservatism in all departments of life. (Uh-oh) On the surface they are emotionally cold, and sometimes this goes deeper, for their habit of suppressing their natural kindness may in the end cause it to atrophy, with the result that they shrink from committing themselves to friendship, make few relationships, and those they do make they are careful to keep superficial.

Gulp. A lot of this really nails me. To read more, click here but stop paying attention around paragraph five. A career in fashion? A flair for dress? HA! I think not! And disregard the possible health concerns altogether. No stomach or bowel problems for this Virgo and, contrary to how much I should probably be worrying about my Virgoan persnicketiness, guess what? I don’t give a flying….

What really tickles me though, is that by definition, a Virgo wouldn’t put any stock in horoscopes anyway. We’re too busy being uptight pragmatists.

Oh, yeah. And spinsterish.

Right on.